I’ve sat here for the past 20 minutes, staring at this blank screen with the blinking cursor that’s begging me to flood the page with words from an event a week ago, that launched me out of my comfort zone. Here’s what real life with anxiety looks like when you toss in an incredible opportunity and a leap of faith…
You see, there was a time not too long ago, where anxiety controlled my every (almost) waking moment. If someone told me years ago, that future me would be on Breakfast Television Montreal to talk about this sweet little story, which back then was nothing more than an idea- I would have laughed; then silently cried with paralyzing fear and all the “what-if” scenarios my anxious brain could muster, eaten a lot of sugar and carbs and come up with any excuse to not step outside this comfort zone nest that I had created for myself.
Last week, I did just this. My goodness, it really happened and yours truly lived to tell the tale! For me, anxiety has always been such a quiet and internal journey. At times, it crippled me, held me back from major decisions, forced me to “sit still and look pretty” (thanks for those words Daya) while I was screaming and disheveled on the inside. Rising above this fear, finding my inner strength and the words to articulate just how important this topic is to me, my family and anyone else (young or old) who is fighting this good fight was a responsibility I didn’t take lightly.
That morning came, I woke super early and you know what?-That fear had changed into an excitement that fueled my soul and I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. Gratitude filled my heart and this odd sense of confidence (odd because this is something I struggle with truthfully) washed over me.
At 7:30am last Thursday, I put one foot in front of the other and walked through the towering doors from the street and into the Breakfast Television studio, so ready to share a snippet of this very personal journey of how this book came to life. It is my hope that maybe this segment, the spoken words and this topic will resonate with just one person and spark important conversations about mental illness and children’s mental health.
As my mic was clipped and the 10 second countdown begun until we went live, I took a deep breath and smiled; but not a fake one that I had come so accustomed to using when I was uncomfortable, it was a genuine one that came right from my heart. For in that moment and the next 5 minutes that flew by, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Always remember little bears, your anxiety doesn’t define you and you can do anything!
You can watch the segment here: